It was so special to hear your voice yesterday. Your timing was perfect as I was alone and had committed the day to silence and prayer. When the phone rang, I was reading a letter St. Therese of Lisieux wrote to her sister while on a beach in France. As we shared in our conversation, nothing is coincidental. Everything is providential.
I listened with the ears of love to all you told me about your spiritual experience on the beach a few weeks ago. I could so identify with the walks we used to take in the late twilight times and the little talks we had then about the beauty of the ocean, the sounds of the surf, and the twinkle of that first evening star. Many of these experiences slip quietly into our subconscious as our life matures. Much of what God has revealed to us of His beauty throughout our lives gets lost in the tides of suffering and pain.
You asked me if I thought the little sparkles of light that caressed you in the black, black dark were hallucinations or truly God’s angels holding you, loving you, and bringing you to such a deep place of peace. I was especially interested in your endeavor to describe the colors that you said were beyond description. I want to quote a little piece from the letter I was reading by St. Therese. Indeed, she was not hallucinating when she wrote this:
I feel how powerless I am to express in human language the secrets of heaven. There are so many different horizons, so many nuances of infinite variety that only the palette of the Celestial Painter will be able to furnish me after the night of this life with the colors capable of depicting the marvels He reveals to the eye of my soul.”
I would encourage you to receive all of this experience as a gift from God to reaffirm His love for you and enable you to persevere. You have suffered affliction and pain way beyond anything most of us could ever imagine—let alone endure. I sense that God has given you more time here on earth to use this pain to express hope and encouragement to other sufferers.
Do all you can while you are in the rehab facility to regain your physical strength and continue to ponder the mysteries of God and the experiences you had that night on the beach. Reflect on the vision and depths of its meaning and the unspeakable sense of rest and peace that you felt. Such remembering is God’s way of not only affirming His love for us but of healing us.
Please continue to call me when you feel pressed and let me know how you are progressing in the work of your recovery. When you think the time is right, we will make plans to be together again.
I love you, sweet friend, and will into eternity,