In this video, Betty talks about the importance of becoming aware of our behaviors and of naming, claiming, and taming them in order to learn how to love.
Imperative on this journey is to develop a keen sense of attention and awareness. Until we develop that sort of awareness of how we are and how we are behaving, there is no way we can name the excessive behavior pattern or the . . . I like to use the word compulsive. That means something we do over and over again and we are not aware of it. So once we become aware of it, we can’t begin to move against it, which is taming it. So name it—and I’m sorry—the second part is to claim it. We are aware of it, we name it. Now we claim it; this is what I am doing and it has nothing to do with anybody else but me. I claim it. My thing that I had more trouble with claiming and dealing with was an excessive need for privacy. So once I saw it and named it, then I could begin to move against it. Moving against it means taming it. Nothing ever goes to waste. All you are doing—we are always into some energy—I don’t think many people realize that our energy is a gift from God, but we waste so much of that in negative thinking, negative responses, and negative behavior patterns. So what we do is take this negative energy as we begin to name, claim, and tame, and convert it into constructive, positive energy. More and more then, our inner life is growing and more and more we are learning, truly, how to love unconditionally because we are not filled with negativity. Anything negative is foreign to love, so as we get rid of that love seeps in, more and more we are healed and more and more we are learning how to love unconditionally. Name it, claim it, and tame it—and be aware of what’s going on inside and outside all the time. You need to practice that and finally you’ll come to the realization that everything is connected. At the same time, you come to a deep realization that nothing ever stays the same. If you realize that nothing ever stays the same but it’s all connected, it’s much easier to go with change and growth. Change and growth are synonymous. If we cling to our old security blankets we will never grow as individuals. No clinging allowed. We have to trust God and let go.