Betty encourages us to trust God’s loving desire to use our struggle for our transformation rather than simply for restoration to the way we were before.
I think the key revelation for me that came early on in the darkness was that I could not fix or change other people. I could not fix or change the circumstances in my life. The only thing I could do anything about was Betty Skinner and there was an awful lot of work that needed to be done on Betty Skinner. That was a tremendous freedom for me because I had always lived with a sense that if people would just leave me alone, I’d be okay. The problem was, I wasn’t functioning in the place where God had me. More and more I retreated into the darkness. Our marriage was decaying. All the relationships I had were gone, and suddenly I found myself not able to function at all. All I could do was stand in the corner and cry—and at that point, of course, was the darkest time, and it was from there, that dark night, that I began to catch glimmers—just glimpses every now and then—of ways that I needed to change and think that I could do. It’s all a matter of desire and it’s all a matter of one huge big word—discipline. Without discipline, my dear sweet friends, you’re going to stay stuck. You might get back to where you were, but you’ll never ever experience what God’s talking about: a transformation, a total change of the way you’re living your life. So we are looking at two big words here—restoration and transformation—and I will say to you, please, go beyond restoration, because you will stay stuck there the rest of your life and be plagued by fear, by anxiety, by doubt, and you will possess an unforgiving heart, a resentful heart, and never ever ever learn how to love unconditionally. That’s what all this healing is about. How better can we love? Get in touch with the Beloved, then offer the love.